Islamic Archives

Home » Funny

Category Archives: Funny

Advertisements

Biblical Punishment for Urinating on a Wall is DEATH!!! ( 1 Kings 16:11)

1 Kings 16:11

King James Bible
And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that pisseth against a wall, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends.

New Heart English Bible
It happened, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he struck all the house of Baasha: he did not leave him a single one who urinates on a wall, neither of his relatives, nor of his friends.

Jubilee Bible 2000
And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he smote all the house of Baasha; he left him not one that pisses against a wall, neither of his kinsfolk, {Heb. redeemers}, nor of his friends.

American King James Version
And it came to pass, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he slew all the house of Baasha: he left him not one that urinates against a wall, neither of his kinfolks, nor of his friends.

Douay-Rheims Bible
And when he was king and sat upon his throne, he slew all the house of Baasa, and he left not one thereof to piss against a wall, and all his kinsfolks and friends.

World English Bible
It happened, when he began to reign, as soon as he sat on his throne, that he struck all the house of Baasha: he didn’t leave him a single one who urinates on a wall, neither of his relatives, nor of his friends.

 

Advertisements

Critique of ‘3 Ways to Graciously Engage KJV-Only Believers’ By Mark Ward

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/3-ways-graciously-engage-kjv-believers/

A christian article that I found funny, and I thought I should share it:

(MY COMMENTS ARE IN RED)

JULY 26, 2018 | Mark Ward

Don Carson pled with them for realism 40 years ago, and James White urged them to trust modern translations 20 years ago. But I sense that conservative evangelicalism has now given up on critiquing King James Version-onlyism. (Physician heal thyself)

But there are tens or perhaps even hundreds of thousands of KJV-only Christians around the world, and a new generation is taking leadership in the movement. ( That is scary, ignorance breeds ignorance )

It’s time to make another gentle appeal.

(more…)

Jesus orders Prostitutes to be BURNED!!!

Technically Moses did, and Moses heard from Yahweh, so Yahweh did, and Jesus is Yahweh, so Jesus did !!! 🙂

Leviticus 21
“‘If a priest’s daughter defiles herself by becoming a prostitute, she disgraces her father; she must be burned in the fire.

This goes against the authentic hadith:

It was narrated from ‘Ikrimah that ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) burned some people. News of that reached Ibn ‘Abbaas and he said:If it were me, I would not have burned them, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:“Do not punish with the punishment of Allah.” And I would have executed them as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever changes his religion, then execute him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3017).

And

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) sent us on a mission and said: “If you find So and so, and So and so, then burn them with fire.” Then the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, when we were about to leave: “I had commanded you to burn So and so, and So and so. But verily no one punishes with fire except Allah. So if you find them, execute them.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3016)

Daniel B. Wallace issues Apology over First-Century Mark

First-Century Mark Fragment Update

Apology
In my debate with Bart, I mentioned that I had it on good authority that this was definitely a first-century fragment of Mark. A representative for who I understood was the owner of FCM urged me to make the announcement at the debate, which they realized would make this go viral. However, the information I received and was assured to have been vetted was incorrect. It was my fault for being naïve enough to trust that the data I got was unquestionable, as it was presented to me. So, I must first apologize to Bart Ehrman, and to everyone else, for giving misleading information about this discovery. While I am sorry for publicly announcing inaccurate facts, at no time in the public statements (either in the debate or on my blogsite) did I knowingly do this. But I should have been more careful about trusting any sources without my personal verification, a lesson I have since learned.

 

——————————————–

This really puts his so-called scholarship into question.

 

Ezekiel 23:20

Image result for ezekiel 23:20 50 shades

WWJD- What would Jesus do?

Bible reading for the whole Family!

What is going on in the ‘New Living Translation’ of Mark 16:8???

RED= Where did this come from??????

New Living Translation
The women fled from the tomb, trembling and bewildered, and they said nothing to anyone because they were too frightened. Then they briefly reported all this to Peter and his companions. Afterward Jesus himself sent them out from east to west with the sacred and unfailing message of salvation that gives eternal life. Amen.

VS

(more…)

According to Gospel of Mark, only THREE Women knew about the Resurrection!!!!!

Mark 16:1 King James Version (KJV)
1 And when the sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might come and anoint him.

And in the CORRECT ending of Mark:

Mark 16:8 NIV
Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

[IslamQA] Ruling on Eating Mermaids

https://web.archive.org/web/20120311214238/http://islamqa.info/en/ref/103991

It was taken off the site, but I still managed to get a hold of it. I archive this purely for posterity.

Praise be to Allaah.

A mermaid is a creature that lives in water and looks like a human. As to whether it really exists or it is a mythical being, that is subject to further discussion.

It says in a footnote in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (5/129): From the modern academic resources that are available to us, it may be understood that the mermaid, which is called Sirène in French, is a mythical creature that is described in fairy tales as having an upper body like a woman and a lower half like a fish.

(more…)

%d bloggers like this: